I have successfully completed one semester of school. I can hardly believe this! The beginning of the year I was working 30 hours a week at Starbucks, then I was hospitalized for two months and then I spent the summer in therapy. I didn't even hope to end the year off as successfully as I did. Despite all the happenings of the year, I still maintain that I am blessed and successful in both my recovery as well as my relationships with others.
An integral part of my recovery process has been family therapy where my parents and I have learnt how to communicate and interact with each other in more effective and supportive ways. In my experience, family therapy has been revolutionary to my recovery process. Along with therapy, honesty is another big thing that I want to emphasize when it comes to recovery. I have been honest and open about what I struggle with, and doing so, has allowed me to get connected with the appropriate resources and support systems available to me. An example of this is UTSC's accessibility services. Its really important to harness all the resources and supports available to you in order to ensure an easier experience. It is also really important to not feel guilty about using them. Having a mental illness is a serious and real struggle that needs to be acknowledged and addressed. Recognizing my weaknesses has helped me deal with situations that are challenging, such as eating out or socializing.
Speaking of challenges, the holidays can be a really hard time for anyone who suffers from an illness, whether physical or mental. In my case, I have really high anxiety and am usually sad. However, this christmas was actually one of the best ones I have had in a long time. My mum tells me that this is because I am in a much better mental state, and I guess that is true. My favourite part of the holidays is buying presents for everyone in my family. This also makes me really anxious as I worry if they will like my presents or not! I also really enjoy baking. This year I made these amazing shortbread cookies, decorated the gingerbread house with Carissa and made an eggnog spiced cake. It was an amazing success. Everyone loved it! I will post the recipe and pics up as well.
Every family has their own Christmas traditions, and we are no exception. On christmas eve, we usually go to church in the evening. This year we went for the evening mass at 5pm. Then we came home, ate dinner, took some pictures, and got to relax and listen to carols and the special christmas broadcast on the radio. After this, curled up in front of the tv, sipping mugs of hot cocoa with marshmallows, our whole family watches The Polar Express. We do this every single year. It is our Highland family tradition. Then it's off to bed, but not before putting out the gingerbread house, a glass of milk and Carissa's letter to Santa. Theres gingerbread for Santa to nibble on and carrots for the reindeer!
Christmas morning was filled with the usual excitement of unwrapping presents. Then we cleaned the house up a bit and got ready for the dinner party that we were going to have later that day. I was feeling pretty relaxed about the whole thing as it was my cousins as well as our neighbours who were coming over. It was actually a really good evening. I ate my own dinner, and talked a bit with the guests. I have been making an attempt to be more social and interact with people more. However, I have also remembered to be kind to myself, as well as more patient, and accept my limitations when it comes to being social.
The best present I had this christmas was having my mum here still with us. I have learnt to appreciate the small things, such as taking the good days and savouring the happiness of the moment. I always do a review list of the top moments of the year. These memories I turn over and over in my head, remembering them when I'm down, and even when I'm happy, since it adds to my happiness. No matter what happens, or where I am next year, I know that right now in this moment I'm happy. I try not to think too far ahead and I just enjoy each and every minute of the day to the best of my ability!
