My blogging promise to you!

I wake up on a windy, gray Saturday morning. It still shocks me that my first thought as I open my eyes is not "I hope the weather's good, so that I can go for a run." Instead a much more welcoming thought of "hmm... lets see what to eat for breakfast" enters my mind. As you read this, you probably are going... uh oh... we have a lazy blogger here who thinks of nothing but food. I do agree that I do spend a lot of time thinking about food. Yet, I'm not lazy. Far from it, in fact. Thinking about food and actually eating is really hard work for me. I am a recovering anorexic, and I'm working hard to get over this illness and move on with my life. 

People might dramatize eating disorders, or minimize them by saying that it's a "first world" illness or only the "rich can afford to have an eating disorder." To be completely honest, before I had anorexia, I thought so too. Losing weight seemed like something society would look favourably upon and encourage even. Heck, the first time I heard about "anorexia" was on an episode of "Degrassi", where Emma ate only carrots to lose weight for a photo shoot. By the end of the episode, she get's hospitalized and then becomes all "better." 

What the show fails to mention is that going into a hospital and getting re-fed, scratches only the surface of the illness. That once you stop eating and develop a fear of the most basic element needed for survival, your world is never the same. This blog is going to be about my daily reflections trying to make sense of my illness. In the noise that I now recognize as the sound of my eating disorder, I am going to share my daily reflections of life, and day-to-day musings. I've hidden my illness for a long time, about 6 years in fact. I'm not going to spend another day hiding behind it and being ashamed of it. It is a part of me, just like the birthmarks on my body, or the freckles on my skin. Unfortunately, this part of me dictates a huge part of who I am, and my constant struggle is learning to live without having it do so. I hope you enjoy reading through my blog, and can draw inspiration from it!