Self Awareness

Many times we are told by our loved ones or friends, "be kind to yourself." However, many of us don't actually know how to do this. I can say from experience, that I am my harshest critic. I am very impatient when it comes to my recovery, and I want things to happen quickly. I often act impulsively and make questionable decisions. Today I am going to reflect on the term "Self Awareness." In order to have self compassion, I think that one has to be aware of oneself- that is, I need to be self-aware in order to be self-compassionate. Self awareness is simply being aware of ones traits, feelings, and behaviours.

There are many factors that make us who we are. One that we absolutely do not have any control over is our inherited genetics- this is controlled solely by nature. This effects how we appear, our temperament/personality, and our vulnerability to certain illnesses and diseases. The second one is our environment- this is the "nurture" part, for those of you who are interested in the "nature vs. nurture" debate.  Our environment includes our family (they shape our beliefs, values, ethics etc.), the time period we live in (gender roles, war, depression etc), our learning and education, work relationships, skill development and trauma (through abuse, loss, accidents etc).

Something very important to remember however, is that whether our symptoms are hereditary or effected by environment, we have a choice. Our symptoms and our illness don't make us who we are. When I see myself, I don't see myself as "Cassy, the anorexic."  Rather I see myself as "Cassy, who is suffering from anorexia," The key difference between those two sentences is that in the second statement I am a person separate from my illness, whereas the first statement defines me as my illness. This can often cause us to forget who we really are. The choices we make are based on the consequences of our decisions, experience, knowledge, and the advantages and disadvantages of making a decision.

I can choose to be defined by my illness, however, I choose not to. When defining myself, I focus on the facts, and that makes it easier to stay away from being too judgemental or critical of myself. When being self aware, I can focus on three areas:

• My Heredity- how I was made (physical characteristics, traits, tendencies etc)
• Environment- where I grew up, when I grew up, what I learned, how I grew up (values)
• My Choices- the positive and negative choices I make

These three areas come together and all play an equal role to form who I am as a person. Being more self-aware has taught me that even though there are predispositions and factors out of my control (like genes and environment), there are other things that are in my control. Those are the choices I make and the way I view and react to situations. Something I hope that you get out of today's post is realizing that no matter what happened to you in the past, or the environment you're currently in, you have a choice! You can choose to stay stuck or you can choose to let it go. I know its easier said than done, and I'm telling you from experience, it takes a lot of practice and learning to do this. I think the biggest thing I want to emphasize to my readers is that in order to make a change, to stop the same cycle we're stuck in, we need to first be aware of exactly what the issue is.

Below are some helpful self-reflection sentence starters that can help clear the muddled thoughts that sometimes run through our heads. I strongly advise using these headings and journaling about them.

• If I could go on a trip tomorrow, I would go...
• If I could be any animal in the world, I would be...
• I am proudest of myself when...
• My happiest moment was when...
• The thing I look forward to the most is...
• If I could change one thing in my life, it would be...
• The thing that makes me angriest is...
• My biggest fear is...
• My saddest moment was when...
• I feel really bad about myself when...
• The hardest thing I deal with at home is...
• The most important thing I want people to know about me is...